My mom’s 80th party was nice.  Being around family can be a bit much – wanna know a good cure for anxiety?  It’s all natural!

Holding a sweet baby.  This is my sister’s 9 month old son.  I had him all to myself for hours and even babysat after the party so she could go shopping with family.  I was in heaven.

The party was great.  My brother’s speech got off course there for a minute about 1/2 way into it which had the crowd gasping with mouths dropped wide open… I sat there laughing because quite frankly, I thought it was hilarious.

We had a professional photographer and as soon as the pics are uploaded online I will share them in a private post.

My mom is celebrating her 80th b-day this month.

Quickie back story:  My mom and dad (*passed away 12/04), bless them- have 12 children.  I am one of 12.  I have 6 sisters (*2 of them,  I really don’t count cuz they have mad cow disease) and 5 brothers.  I am second to the youngest.  I am her favorite, I just know it in my heart.

Anywho.

I’m not going into micro details here because I’m bored with them myself.  We all live locally except 2 sisters on the East Coast and they are flying in.  BUT, my one sister is NOT going to go because she has picked another victim is hopping mad at one of my other sisters now.  She lives locally and has no excuse to not go.  But she’s created one which includes everything that everyone has ever done or said wrong to her in the last 20 years- all of which does not involve my mother.

I’m just wondering what the fuck is wrong with this crazy bitch?  She is upset with her life, her family, and whatever else has crawled up her ass sideways, and now is going to show us all by hurting our mom?  She’s 45 years old now.  Are you seriously still playing the same games?

They hired a photographer.  By her not showing up, she has ruined the family picture for my mom.  I’ve already decided that when I get the hard copies I am going to photo-shop in an ugly bag lady in her place.

I’ve watched this cowardice of a woman for years in action.  When I stood up to her 15 years ago, I really got labeled the black sheep because everyone else was so damn afraid of her.  I was too, but after taking it up the ass for years, I just had enough and told her to screw off.  My family… they are a bunch of wussies.  I love them dearly but the truth cannot be handled in any shape or form.  Until now?

Everyone is PISSED off at her now.  Me, meh…. whatever.  To me she’s a child that has thrown another rock in the lake looking to see the ripple effect (*Credit Dr. Phelan Book) and I could care less.  Everyone is running around in shock at her latest stunt, but I’m not even phased.  I just feel sad for my mom.

Thoughts by bullet point.  Why?  Oh who knows, just ‘cuz I can.

• Next weekend my mom celebrates her 80th Birthday and we are having a HUGE family party.  It’s not a surprise party, we asked her if we could have one and she said yes.  I will share pics.  Little bits of anxiety creep in that make me want to run for the hills and hide but I will go- because it’s my mom I’m talking about and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her.  She’s an angel on earth.
• My son, my oldest- 18 years old HAS a girlfriend.  Few things are wigging me out.  Within ONE week, this inexperienced kid has gone from having his first date, to his first kiss, and to his first hickey.  Yep.  When I saw the horny teenage slurp mark on his neck I asked him if his girlfriend was cute?  He said yes.  I asked him, “Is she going to be as cute when I smash her fucking face in?  Because if she marks up your neck again, I will smash her face in.”  He just laughed at me.  Let’s see if it’s funny when she pulls that shit again.
• When my kids were young, ya know- when the oldest was 4 and the twins were newborns… my mom use to tell me “small kids, small problems ~ big kids, big problems”.  Also, perfect strangers would tell me in the store, “Aww, enjoy them while you can ~ they grow so fast” and I distinctly remember thinking, “SCREW YOU!” and now I know what they meant.  Exactly what they meant.  Mom is always right.
• My husband went out and bought himself a new truck without checking in with me first.  I shit you not.  He just brought it home with my 13-year-old son (and avid car collector) as his wing man.  Don’t feel sorry for me.  I don’t want pity.  I’m a big girl and I could have ripped his face off, but the truth is ~ it’s his one and only vice in this world and he works so hard- I just want to see him smile.  Even if it means I could never work enough overtime to ever pay for the additional car payment.  Not sure what he’s thinking sometimes, but life is short – we only have one- and he deserves EVERY single thing he has worked his ass off for.  I’d give my life for him.  So, a car payment just doesn’t seem so important in the big scheme of things.  When he told me, I said, “YOU WHAT?” and he could only mutter w/ a giggle, “Love me!” – easy enough.  Bastid.  So if you see a smiley, sexy man driving around in a new shiny Trailblazer SS, that’s my bastid.
• This is THE nicest weekend in Chicago probably for the rest of this season!  Yesterday it was 75 degrees and sunny which totally agrees with me.  Even though, this is my long work week, I have every intention of going home in the morning (Sun. Morn) and taking the pups for another power walk to soak in this loveliness before I’m looking at snow and stuck in the house for the winter.  My dogs are tiny.  They don’t do well in the cold for a few reasons… Dachshunds are so low to the ground that they become immersed in the snow freezing their little bodies out.  They have little tiny paws that literally seem to freeze up.  Bella has long hair, so the snow sticks to her fur and it’s actually quite hilarious.  They don’t stay out for long in the winter.  My bro has two beautiful lab/retriever mixes and he still takes them both to the dog park all winter.  I wish mine could go to but by the time I got all the winter gear on them, winter coats, boots, etc — I’m not sure they’d even be able to move.  LOL!
• FACEBOOK:  I apologize to anyone I have aggravated/annoyed.  Let me be honest.  I love/hate FACEBOOK.  I had all these people on there from high school and work.  So, then I made a moody mabel account for only my blogging buddies where I could write my status exactly as I feel.  I got mad sick of logging in as two different people.  So, I went back to the real me account and fucking cleaned house on the “friends” list like a mad dog.  This included ALL co-workers except ONE who is genuine.  The others can go fuck themselves and I dare them to ask me why I took them off?  Double dog dare them.  *snort*  Just kidding.  I can promise you this time, the ONLY people on my list are people that I do not mind knowing what I am doing at any given moment.  If you were on the list- and got bumped- and you are my blogging buddy (*and ya know damn well who you are) then please let me know.  Some I had just on moody mabel- and when I tried to search you out my current account you were not showing up.  That would include Ria, Stacy, Teeni, and Betina.  I think I got them all.  If you do not wish to add my crazed ass, I totally understand.  It’s not even like I ever had 300+ friends.  There were just certain people on my friends list that I was afraid to delete because they would notice.  Guess what?  I deleted them after wondering what I was so afraid of anyway?  So, the game has changed forever.  If I do not know you on a personal level- if you do not know about me or what I go through, or my life- you were axed.  Mostly just backstabbing co-workers.  It’s all good in the hood now.
• On that note:  I have 6 more hours of work tonight until I am out in the fresh air with my puppies again.  Have a glorious Sunday!

**Fresh to my email is an interesting court case.

Happy 18th Birthday to my son.  It’s hard to believe today has come.  It went by way too fast.  Feels like a strange day because he didn’t want a Birthday cake.  Yes, you read that right. He wanted me to stock up on healthy foods.  So, he and I just got back from Costco where I got him a 3 lb. bag of almonds, cut up fruit bowl, sugar snap peas, whole wheat bagels and an array of lunch meat.  Not to mention- 6 lbs of boneless skinless chicken breasts that he’d like me to cook up for him.  Did I mention, he didn’t want a cake?

So, I took out my camera and guess what?  He wont let me take any pictures.  He said it was ridiculous to pose with food items and he wasn’t going to do it.  Maybe I can get a shot of him later when his brother and sister get home from school?

Things are definitely changing around here.  I guess that’s how it goes.  I will celebrate his special day the way he wants even if it’s killing me to not do it my way!  I could not be more proud of this child.  He’s a kind-hearted, hardworking young man with a fabulous sense of humor.  He’s intelligent and trustworthy and I wish him nothing but a long life of happiness.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SWEET DAVIE!

There are some things I just don’t eat.  Pumpkin pie, coleslaw, sushi, etc.  We had a “travel around the world” trip right in our office for customer service week and a co-worker made this for our trip to China.  While I don’t think it’s authentic Chinese food, I have to say- it was surprisingly good.  PLUS, you can serve it for days and it all stays crisp and yummy.  I’ve already made it two times for my family and they gobbled it up- when asked what was in it, I just said, “Lettuce” – Why?  Because they probably wouldn’t eat it if I said it was cabbage and because I lie sometimes to make my life easier -  get over it.

I don’t know why I’ve never been able to eat coleslaw.  I just hate everything about it, the smell, the texture, the creaminess, ick!  Yet, I LOVE THIS!  I’m weird, so I thought I’d pass my weirdness along to you….

Oriental Cabbage Salad

1 lg head cabbage (I bought it pre-cut w/ carrots)

1 bunch green onions (I omit, because nobody cares for onions)

1 c. thinly sliced celery

1 c. sunflower seeds

1/2 c. slivered almonds (I omitted because I didn’t have on hand)

1 pkg oriental noodles chicken flavor (Top Ramen, etc.)- smashed (keep the flavor packet for the dressing)

1/2 c. vegetable oil

1/2 c. vinegar (white, plain, regular)

1/2 c. sugar

Black pepper, as desired

============================================

Chop cabbage as for slaw, add chopped onions, celery, sunflower seeds, almonds, and noodles.  Noodles are to be broken up uncooked in the salad.

Put oil, vinegar, and sugar in blender.  Add chicken flavor season packet and black pepper (optional, as much as you like).  Blend well.  Pour over salad, toss together.  Chill.  Best when made 2 to 3 hours ahead of serving.

Here’s a little comedy for ya from Louis C.K. ~ I’ve never seen this before but thought it was worthy of passing on.  So funny because it’s soooo true.  Enjoy!

Oh me oh my!  I have over 300+ posts to catch up on.  I opened my reader and nearly feel off my chair- LOL!  I am planning on catching up tonight at work- sorry if I’ve been kinda quiet.

Love to you all

xoxoxxo

-MSM

I can laugh at my rih-donk-u-lous ways.  My husband, he said that I don’t have friends anymore.  I don’t.  I cannot stand them.  I told him I have plenty of blogging friends and he said, “Your blogging friends are all 70 year old men, who post after reading articles in women’s magazines” and I just burst out laughing.  I said, “Hey, it works for me!” and then we both sat there laughing at me.

He is concerned because he has plenty of friends.  Me, I use to.  Sadly, even the bff I’ve had since kindergarten has gotten under my skin and once you’re there, it’s pretty hard to get out.

I said to my husband, “I have friends!  What about Kym, the one I cook for because she’s sick?” and he said, “She’s not even like  a friend-friend, she’s more of an acquaintance!” and I said, “I know, that’s why I can stand her ass”.  He thinks when one of my very close friends (from like 5 years ago) asks me to come over for their kids Birthday party, I “should” go.

Maybe that’s why I don’t want to go- because someone THINKS “I should”?  I don’t have to do SHIT, I just have to pay taxes and die.  I fucking HATE being told what I should or shouldn’t do.  It’s a very bad thing for me.  I don’t have to DO A FUCKING THING.  Truth is, there is a lot of pain where those old friends/sisters/some family members lie and I don’t want to go back and I don’t know how to move past.  So, what I do is just stay away.  OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND, I guess.

A few days ago I took a drive out to “Trader Joes”.   I drove through where all my sisters live, and old friends- and for a brief, brief moment- I thought “I should call so-and-so” because I am in their neighborhood – but the thought of calling left as quickly as it appeared.  I shuddered to think of calling on one of my sisters.  Because it’s not just a phone call, it obviously dredges up some bad shit for me and I cannot handle it.

And, with the wack-a-doos I’ve met here at work, I will never have a desire to make more friends.  Never.  In fact, I’d rather die alone, lonely, and miserable than to trust one of the women from my office.  So, there ya have it.  Jaded much?

I received this email and had to laugh because I deal with this on a daily basis at my work.  Thought I’d pass it along.
By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND “TENJOOBERRYMUDS”…

In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following  conversation until you are able to understand the term “TENJOOBERRYMUDS”.

With a little patience, you’ll be able to fit right in.
Now, here goes…

The following is a telephone exchange between maybe you as a hotel guest and call room-service somewhere in the good old U S A today……
Room Service : “Morrin. Roon sirbees.”
Guest : “Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.”
Room Service: ” Rye. Roon sirbees…morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???”
Guest: “Uh….. Yes, I’d like to order bacon and eggs.”
Room Service: “Ow July den?”
Guest: “…..What??”
Room Service: “Ow July den?!?… pryed, boyud, poochd?”
Guest: “Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. scrambled, please.”
Room Service: “Ow July dee baykem? Crease?”
Guest: “Crisp will be fine.”
Room Service: “Hokay. An Sahn toes?”
Guest: “What?”
Room Service: “An toes. July Sahn toes?”
Guest: “I… don’t think so.”
RoomService: “No? Judo wan sahn toes???”
Guest: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo wan sahn toes’ means.”
RoomService: “Toes! Toes!…Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?”
Guest: “Oh, English muffin!!! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘toast’…   Fine…Yes, an English muffin will be fine.”
RoomService: “We bodder?”
Guest: “No, just put the bodder on the side.”
RoomService: “Wad?!?”
Guest: “I mean butter… just put the butter on the side.”
RoomService: “Copy?”
Guest: “Excuse me?”
RoomService: “Copy…tea..meel?”
Guest: “Yes. Coffee, please… and that’s everything.”
RoomService: “One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy … rye??”
Guest: “Whatever you say.”
RoomService: “Tenjooberrymuds.”
Guest: “You’re welcome”
Remember I said “By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ‘TENJOOBERRYMUDS’ “…..and you do, don’t you!