free write monday

I watched the Super Bowl yesterday with my boys and I have to say, it was exciting – I might actually like it!  I picked the Gold team after 5 minutes into the game, not based on anything other than their color- LOL!  Am I good or what?

Happy Monday!  Oh, so much to do I feel the need to start working on a list just so I can cross some things off and feel a sense of accomplishment on my what I consider to be my only real day off.

The kids are all at school – minus our lovely house guest.. she’s has an upset tummy and asked if she could stay home today.  So far, it’s been nice having her with us.  She is a truly sweet girl and my kids are all attached to her!

I’m very proud of my husband.  He went outside of his comfort zone and applied for an additional sales position within his job and was hired!  He begins his new adventures next week being a “salesman” which is something I’m 100% certain he’ll excel at.  He is the hardest working person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  Even when he was not in sales, he has always passed around the company business card because he knows that more business for them equals more work for him. Makes perfect sense to him but unfortunately his thinking is rare as common sense is not a given in most people.  I am going to pray my little hiney off for him, that all his efforts pay off for him financially and spiritually- he is meant for this!  I just want to see him take off and fly higher than he ever has before, he deserves it.

I’m thinking of two of my close friends who are suffering with an illness right now and I’m not sure what their future holds.  It has been weighing on my mind and I am sending up good thoughts for all of my loved ones right now!

Yesterday, I groomed the dogs and I just want to say they turned out so cute but it is a beastly job.  Cozmo, he’s my easy guy – short haired handsome fella who loves his bath so him, not so hard but Bella?  My long haired Dachshund… she’s a lot of work.  Bella is sooooo good though as far as letting me work my magic.  I just bring out an array of treaties and keep handing them off to her with positive praise for her good behavior but still, I think it took a good 40 minutes to get her done.  She even tolerated the electric trimmer this time for at least 30 of those minutes.  She finally surrendered to it as I had my work cut out for me, pardon the pun.

Oh, I’m wordy today!  Lawd help the person who is actually reading this.. so sorry in advance

Things to do today:

Change my sheets.  Put away our clean laundry.  Vacuum rooms.

Unstack dishwasher, stack in, pots and pans from days of piling up.  Empty and clean out the refrigerator.  Make shopping list.  Renew Costco membership.  Buy ink for printer.  File pile of paperwork.  Make a list of all user names and passwords for hubs; he’s been asking for a while now.  TAKE BELLA AND COZMO for a walk BEFORE new snow storm hits.  Make a list of dishes to cook for the week.  Get package taped up for post pick up today.  TAKE TIME TO CRAFT, take pictures of new supplies from mom and START playing- make time to enjoy new sewing machine!!!

And, that is what I’m off to go do.  Even if I can make a dent in my list before my long work week kicks in tomorrow night.

Have a great Monday!

i’ll show you mine if you show me yours

The following news article has me pissed off.  “Middle schoolers could face charges for alleged ’sexting”“   Cases where teenagers have been exchanging  suggestive/nude pictures to one another and/or “sexting”.

I sat and watched this unfold last month as the prosecutor was talking about charging the kids (that’s what they are after all, kids) with child porn charges.   ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I’m going to break it down for these people in office that have nothing better to do with their time *a-hem HAITI victims*….

We live in a day and age where it seems most kids have cell phones with built in cameras and video capabilities.   Back in the day, we didn’t have things like this nor could we ever dream we would.  We use to just pull down our pants and show a boy what we had down there in the hopes that they’d give us a peek.  Fast forward to 2010 folks – it doesn’t seem preposterous to me that sexting could become a problem today, a BIG problem.

It’s a shame that kids are making these types of poor decisions in sharing photo’s because unfortunately as an adult, you and I both know those pictures are not limited to the person they were intended for and NOR is it appropriate or am I condoning it.  These pictures have the potential of being posted on the internet for the world to see.  And, also- an underworld of seedy people that will actually “get off” on seeing the pictures.  Many teenagers engaging themselves in sexting are unaware that they are committing a crime, and that they could be jailed for several years if found circulating child pornography.

But, IMHO; the children that exchanged these naked photos need to be suspended from school *if this is where the exchange took place*, their parents need to SMASH THE FUCK out of their cell phones – take a hammer to that cell phone right in front of them!  Then, they’d be grounded; from the internet, the telephone, their friends, the television, etc.  There would be a major discussion about it and that’s where the discipline would start.  These kids need to be educated!  Educated that these days a photo, email, blog post, twitter, tweet, and more are there to come back and bite you in your ass!  If you don’t want it repeated or shared, do NOT put it out there.

Sadly, reading this article pointed out another 15 year old child in our area going through the same thing- but in her case they estimate that 1/2 her school has seen her nude photo.  I think that is a huge learning lesson for her, but feel strongly that she needs to be educated, not prosecuted.

I hope that we all take time to talk to our kids about this subject because whether we like it or not, kids do STUPID ASS things, just like we did when we were young- but it’s on a much larger scale now due to technology!  .. and never say, “My child would never do that!” because, guess what?  They do!  *Even the good ones!*

It seems now that the shit storm has settled, most prosecutors want teens to learn a lesson rather than face a felony which is good to hear- because when this story first broke it infuriated me that they were ready to throw them into jail like pedophiles when obviously they were just curious kids with too much technology at their fingertips!  Eeesh!

“she just needs a hug”

“she needs a hug”

- but she ‘aint getn’ one from me.

What is all this about you ask?

I have determined that a certain person outside of my home life is treating me like absolute shit.  This woman is NOT taking into consideration whatsoever that I am also just a human being;  struggling like everyone else – with 3 kids, a husband, and a home, working hard to make ends meet and just getting by.  I, actually have a lot on my personal plate right now.

This person is MISERABLE and evidently just needs a hug.  And I’d give it to her, if she weren’t such an asshole.

NOTE TO SELFISH, SELF-CENTERED PEOPLE:  All ya really need is a hug, you must be going through a lot- but you ‘aint going to get one from me.  BECAUSE YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE!

house guest

I don’t even know how to begin writing.  I’m not in the mood for sure, but will go ahead and put this out there because of my “non-reaction” I feel it’s probably for the best I verbalize it.  My son announced to us that he is joining the Air Force a month ago and has done so.  He leaves for boot camp right after graduation @ the beginning of this summer.  The hubs and I are so proud of him.

3 days ago, this same son’s girlfriend of only 3 months came to live with us.  She is also a Senior in high school but it came to our attention that she was in an abusive situation at her home and my son was devastated.  He asked if she could stay with us until after summer when she starts college and we said yes.  I wont go into detail as it’s her private life but will say she is a very sweet young woman from what I can see and I just pray things go smoothly for her.

I don’t know about you but I have cabin fever B-A-D and cannot wait to get the hell out of this house.  To venture off into a forest preserve with the pups and enjoy the great outdoors!  Even if it would just warm up so we could go for a walk.  I know most people take their dogs for a walk in the freezing cold but my Doxie’s are tiny and get too cold!  Hope all is well with everyone!

xoxoxo

-Mabs

new craft blog

I’m a craftaholic.    I love to create things!   I’m so inspired by people who seem to have that “Midas Touch” – you know those people who make everything beautiful just by their special touch?   I’m sure we all have someone like that we know, where you are constantly amazed at their creativity!

Admittedly, I do not quite have the “Midas Touch” but am inspired by those who do.  If  I see something I like, I will try to make it myself and am finding more and more about these wonderful crafting blogs/sites that share their ideas!  They also share the process with detailed instructions and photographs which is a MUST for learning!

When someone gives me a hand made item, I fah-reak out *in a good way*!  I get giddy by just looking through “Etsy”.   Whether it’s knitting or drawing – or creating unique presents for my friends and family, I’ve found crafting makes me happy.  I only wish I had started this crafting blog 15-20 years so I could show off all the cool things I’ve made over the years!  Without further adieu, I’d like to introduce “owl biscuits”… my crafting blog/diary.  A place where I can share all the things I’ve been doing.

Just click on the owl banner above to visit.  I’m just getting started but plan on including EVERYTHING from crafting, to cooking, to simply sharing really great ideas!

Love to all!

-Mabs

i am better than ok

For the longest time I thought there was something wrong with me.  But, life has become a milder version of the “Jerry Springer Show” every where I look- and the more I see, the more I realize that I AM OK.  I’m better than “ok”.  Sorry to toot my own horn, but… TOOT!  TOOT!  TOOT!

I doubt I’m alone in this head game I’ve been playing with myself my whole life.  The game where you tell yourself you’re not good enough.  Not pretty enough.  Not smart enough.  Not thin enough.  Not educated enough.  Not organized enough.  Not creative enough.  Not happy enough.  Not wealthy enough.  And, bottom line – - – just not good enough!  Which leads into not being a good enough friend, wife, mother, daughter, sister, and it goes on and on and on.

After a GOOD HARD look around this place we call life – Guess what?  I am smart, pretty, happy, creative and wealthy in more ways than not!  I’ve wasted enough time torturing myself by setting myself up against unreasonable goals and comparing myself to other people.  Here’s a quote from a book entitled Jasmine by Bharati Mukherjee (page 29):

“We murder who we were so we can rebirth ourselves in the images of dreams”

But guess what?  Dreams are just that…. DREAMS!  This is real life and it’s time to embrace myself while there is still time here.  Why am I 40 years old and just figuring this out?  Damn, I must have taken the “emotional/commonsensical SHORT BUS”.

I am sloppy, unorganized, disheveled, sometimes depressed, cranky, sleepy, and unmotivated at times.  Then, there are times when I’m crazy happy, I dance, I sing, I laugh my ass off.  I enjoy NATURE, my family, my dogs, drinking coffee, reading, creating something out of nothing, making someone else smile, and lifting a friend up when they are down….

I am me.  That’s all I can be.  If someone doesn’t like it, they can literally MOVE ON.  And that awful person, the one that doesn’t like me?  ME!  I’m the one who doesn’t seem to like me!  I need to move on too!  Enough wallowing in what I am NOT – time to focus on WHAT I AM.

I am a lover of life.  I want to sing.  I want to dance.  I want to love the family and friends that are in front of me – - if my loved one was being unkind to themselves, it’d break my heart… SO WHY IS IT OK FOR ME TO DO IT TO MYSELF?  WHY!???  IT’S NOT!

This little game is over.

I am me.  Naked before you.  Every lump and bump is apparent and no magic colors, or wearing ALL black is going to slim me down and make me look better.  The color you see is me ~ plain yet not simple.  Not fancy or distracting but genuinely me.   Real.

I am what I am.  I am better than ok.  Things are going to be ok.

Dreams: 1/6/10

I have some pretty freaky dreams.  Some times, they seem REAL and when I wake up, I cannot shake the images or feelings that came along with them.  Here’s one from Jan. 6th.  My dad was in it and since he passed away the day after Christmas of ‘04, this one was particularly hard to shake.  Do you have freaky dreams too?

It was as if life was being lived in an upright glass container filled with water. Suddenly, a higher being picked up the pitcher and poured it out.  Everyone and everything came cascading downward in a massive free fall.  My father that had passed away 5 years ago was also falling – along with my mother and my youngest sibling Rosemary. There were random people and complete strangers; elderly, adults, and children falling toward a certain death- blood curdling screams and very disturbing music playing all the while. Some objects were not moving and we had to avoid hitting them on our descent while trying to keep tabs on one another at the same time so as not to get separated. If we were going to die, we were going to do it together.

My sister Rose had badly hit a large metal object; it was unavoidable. The noise she made upon contact was none other than… death. I could no longer see her but knew in my gut that she didn’t make it and I also lost track my father. Fearing the worst I clung to my mother with everything in me. I felt sick that my sister and father were missing but I had to concentrate on not hitting anything.  I also knew for certain that my mother and I shared the same destiny as my sister Rosemary and quite possibly my father too.  I knew we were going to die, I just didn’t know how or when it would happen.

Complete chaos surrounded us. There was a cluster of unbearable noises and the sounds of a lost people. Screams and cries – gasps of pain were everywhere. The loudest noise of all was the rushing of water and when I looked down I could see a massive broken highway bridge, pavement, boulders, rocks, some water, and knew it was going to be a deadly fall once we hit.  We were going to hit a destroyed city, but why?  Was it the end of time?  Was the world coming to an end?

My father appeared and I was relieved. Strange to be relieved to have found him when he had already passed away 5 long years ago in my real life. We finally stopped falling and flailing about. We just hovered and knew our turn to go was next. Beyond the boulders, rocks, and water was a colossal swell- like the rough tide of ocean. A fierce swirling angry sea but only the size of a large home and no bigger ~ that’s where we were destined to drown, I just instinctively knew.  My father, mother, and I decided to interlock our arms and legs as a way to stay together through whatever ordeal we were about to face.  We were holding on so tight. I was scared, … but NOT scared if this could possibly make any sense?  Right before we were about to drop my father said, “I hope after we plunge into the water, that we quickly resurface so I can rest for an hour and watch as we are drawn up to the gates of heaven. This time I’d like to see it happen.” I remembered that when he passed away 5 years earlier, he had passed away when we had briefly stepped out of his hospital room.  At that time, we were distraught because we did not get to witness his soul leave his body. His words were shocking but brought me a sense of comfort, followed by terror all at the same time.

Just as we all held on tight, and just as it was our destined time – we were seated in chairs, in a theater. A movie theater and the curtains went up. The lights came up and we stood together.  Safely we stood; just the three of us.  My mother, my father, and myself and this time my younger sister was not there.  It was all just a movie. It seemed so real.  Oh, the relief that swept over our faces and we hugged each other and finally were able to laugh out loud. We walked out of the theater with hundreds of other strangers. Down a dark alley and into a small home, more like a tiny apartment, with a very open layout somewhere inside a big bustling city.

It was overcast. The sky was a color I had never seen before.  Overcast and leaning more toward being dark.  There was a strange feeling in the air but we still laughed at the crazy, realistic, 3-dimensional movie we just came out of… alive. It was all too short lived as shortly thereafter we heard the pounding tremor and felt the vibrations of something very wrong. What was it? I don’t know, but it felt bad. Evil. Wrong. Music began to play. Eerie music with an uncomfortable echo as if it were being played on a drive-thru movie speaker. Music that crackled, overpowering, and menacing. It played throughout the city.

People of all ages began to cry, scream, and scramble to find a place to hide. I knew, that horrible movie we just came out of was about to start again. Very soon. And, I knew the soundtrack, the cast, and the synopsis of the film to be played out. My heart tightened and I nervously began to grab my parents and run. Trying to hide, but the apartment was so small- and uncluttered, there was nowhere to hide without being seen!

Again, we began to free-fall as if being poured out of a vase, although this time there was no water. We were literally poured onto a cement highway heading south, straight down as we tried so desperately to avoid hitting the next exit sign. Sadly, people were smashing into signs, cement barrier walls, trees, and boulders so fast it was like watching a high speed auto chase on television except people were falling to their death in such a violent way. Remarkable, my father, mother, and I managed to avoid such a disaster.

***SIDE NOTE: When I woke up from this dream, I had (my own obviously) hand print on the side of my arm where my dad had wrapped his hand around me. SO REALISTIC AND CREEPY.



Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes…

First and foremost, before I begin to talk about things that are much less significant than the news about the Haiti earthquake, I just want to say how truly upsetting this is.  It is mind boggling and ever so disturbing especially to a country that was already suffering.  Watching the footage is heartbreaking.  I saw a father hold his toddler crying and it made me sick to think “how is he going to take care of that baby?” – GAH!  My prayers go out to those living there and to their families.  Such devastating sad news!  I pray, pray, pray that food and water, along w/ the proper medical attention arrives before it’s too late… and that too many people do not have to suffer or lose their own life while waiting for help.  What a feeling to see something so horrendous and not be able to do a thing!

We’ve learned that our 18 year old son will be joining the Air Force and leaving for training when he graduates high school this summer.  It hasn’t sunk in yet and while I don’t think it’s a bad idea, I just cannot seem to wrap my brain around him leaving.  He is determined to go.  He met with a recruiter and has another meeting to sign up Friday 1/15.  He’s excited to go to college through the Air Force and has shown an interest in air traffic control and other related fields – he will get the training he was looking for and not have any lingering student loans when all is said and done.

My son is an extremely independent person.  I’ve never set an alarm for him to get up, worried about his work schedule or even had to tell him to take a shower.   I’ve never had to ask him for his car/insurance payment, not even once.  He’s pretty responsible and a terrific person to be around.  About 2.5 years ago, he joined our local gym on his own paying his own monthly fee.  He would drive his car to the gym in the morning, park his car there and walk to school.  When school was out, he’d walk back to the gym and work out.  I was amazed at his self discipline.  I’m still amazed to this day!

Since that time, he has lost 40 pounds and been working out on a regular basis.  He tries to eat only health foods and orders his own GNC protein and work out powders and makes himself some type of nutrient shake every day.  He spends a lot of time and money on his fitness goals.  In the last year, he has ordered a new weight bench and other equipment (* I have no clue what it’s called*)  and worked out “hard core” – I’m so very proud of his accomplishments!  I wonder how he does it when he goes to school, has a job, and for the last few months has a girlfriend that he seems to chauffeur all over.  He’s also added to his workout since October by joining a kick boxing class and is now signed up with that for 6 months.

I think part of the reason for his independence is that I had twins when he was 4 years old.  He was a phenomenal help to me and loved his baby brother and sister but I do believe this also forced him to do a lot of things for himself as I had my hands full.

So, joining the Air Force is a 4 year commitment and he could be stationed inside the U.S. or out?  Time will tell and yet- I just feel it’s an ok decision at this time.  I’m sure I’ll go up and down as time goes on, and it has a chance to sink in.  The hubs and I have shared many talks with him and his attitude seems to be, “I gotta get out of this one horse town” and I told him to stop it- that he sounded like a desperate Bon Jovi song, lol.  But the truth is, he planned on going to college here and he’ s worked at the local Kmart for the last few years.  He wonders why he’d stay here and work his ass off to pay for college when he can learn the same thing in the Air Force while gaining a career, education, see different places, and meet people with similar interests?   Again, I told him his only two options were not 1) kmart  or 2) joining the military but somehow he see’s it that way.

I’ve always thought being an 18 year old male would be a total stress.  You are suppose to know what you want, and how to get it as fast as possible to be able to support yourself and a family.  How stressful would that be?  You gotta find your nitch and that’s not always easy for everyone!  When I was 18 I didn’t have a care in the world.  I had a full time job and lived at home with my parents, my dad let me drive his car and he payed for my car insurance – the only thing I had to do was pay a teensy little “rent” to the parents which was no more than $25- per week and I spent the rest of my paycheck on awesome clothing!  So, I’ve always thought about how hard it would be to be a guy at 18 and the stress and pressure of it all.

Now lets add to the stress of an 18 year old male on the verge of venturing off on his own with the fact that all the major companies are laying off employees due to the economy.  My hubs has always been in the constructions field which has always been good to us in the past but now?  The jobs are cut!  Even the most reliable companies, such as “UPS” or similar are cutting back, which use to be a trusty safety net for many families.  It’s bad all around.

We sat with him a few nights and talked about all the pro’s and con’s.  We cannot tell him what to do as he is 18 years old, but we can just tell him how we feel and think and hope he listens- at least a little.  I’m also a big believer in not telling an adult WHAT to do – speaking for myself, it only makes me dig my heels in more when someone tells me what to do.  I don’t want to push that off on someone else.  Both the hubs and I feel there are way more Pro’s than con’s to his decision.  I’m sorry, I just never thought I’d be saying this.  So, that’s where we are with our oldest.  I’ll miss him, but the truth is – I’ve missed him for the last 4 years.  He’s so independent that I rarely see him!  He has a bedroom in the basement and his days are all pretty much planned out.  If I’m lucky I get to fix him supper once a week these days because he’s so busy.  I’m lucky if I get a hug and an I love you about the same too… it’s hard working nights and he’s so busy during the days!!!

I am really lucky too, to have a guy at my work who served 6 years in the Air Force so I’ve pretty much picked his brain the last few nights at work.  My co-worker says the biggest mistake he ever made in his life was leaving the Air Force after 6 years, that he should have stayed in.  He got his training to be a firefighter and an EMT in the Air Force and had a lot of interesting things to tell me.  The day he’s packing his stuff will probably throw me into another dimension but for now- I’m not reacting because I have much more to mull over and I need to remember, it’s his decision, not mine.  The day he waves “so long” will suck monkey balls but I don’t want to go there now.

A few days ago, I cut my middle finger pretty damn bad while cutting up veggies for soup.  At first, it hurt but when I looked down there was no blood so I thought, “oh, that’s not so bad!”   But after getting to the bathroom and seeing the mess and the fact that I could not get it to stop bleeding, that’s when I had a little “problem” of sorts.  I noticed that I was not able to hear anything, my ears popped and I could only hear my heart beat and breathing.  Then I instantaneously began to sweat profusely.  I got dizzy and walked out of the bathroom to the family room where I thought it would be cooler and I could get myself under control.  That did not work so  I called my hubs into the room because I felt like I might faint.  He came bolting out of the bedroom to help me.  Just knowing he was home was reassuring.  We held a towel on it for 15 minutes wondering if I should go get it looked at.  We decided to bandage it up in the bathroom but we put the band-aid at a wrong angle and it began to bleed profusely again.  I started to panic again… so the hubs made me sit and look away.  He took good care of me.  This time, he got the right positioning of the band-aid and we sat on the couch until it stopped bleeding.  He is home this week on vacation and I know I’m lucky to have had him home that day.  I don’t know why I panicked that morning, but the whole thing was just too gory for me.

He had plans to meet up with a friend for lunch and even offered to stay home with me – he’s so thoughtful.  I was going to be fine.  Even that night, before work, he took off my band-aid and re-did it.  I just love him more than anything else on earth.  What could be better than him?  Nothing, that’s what! and I thank my lucky stars every day for having him in my life.  He also made me a little first-aide kit for work in case my bandage came undone and set me up with some chocolate

I’m in the final process after 6 months of coming off all of my depression/anti-anxiety medication that I’ve been on for the last 10+ years.  In less than 2 weeks I’ll be drug free.  I have my moments but I’ve been more “up” than down and just pray it stays that way.  Why am I doing this?  Well, I’ve been medicated for so long – I want to come off and see EXACTLY where I am.  I want to do my part and see what a difference it makes in my mental health.  I am determined to exercise every day and eat healthier.  I also want to sleep less.  If I do my part, and still have great difficulty I will seek help again.  But, I just feel like I’m taking this medicine and becoming a zombie and I am not sure what/if anything is even wrong anymore?

On a less important note; my two favorite guilty pleasure t.v. shows have started.  The Bachelor “On the wings of love” *gag* I know, and American Idol.  Nothing makes me happier than watching these two shows.  If anyone has been watching them and has something to say.. please feel free to add your two cents.  The year is off to a great start with these shows…. talk about major. guilty. pleasure.  The Bachelor is so cheesy and wrong; yet I cannot get enough- and the commentary I have while watching should be taped for a vlog entry!

Christmas ‘09

I don’t think it could have been a nicer Christmas at my house.  My kids and husband cleaned like crazy as I had been working long hours.  My MIL and her hubs come every year from Wisconsin to visit and exchange gifts.  This year, we weren’t sure if they’d make it because the weather has been so icy/snowy and unpredictable.  They made it here and back safely, it was low key, and very enjoyable.

We did not serve up some elaborate Christmas dinner.  Each year it is cold-cut sandwiches.   A nice variety of deli meats and cheeses, along with fabulous french bread, vegetables, spreads, potato salad, chips, fruit tray, etc.  The only thing I had to do was lay out the food- I didn’t make any of it.  My husband and kids bought everything.  Nice.

The husband and I start off each Christmas morning by making a pot of coffee while our 3 kids divvy up the gifts that are under our tree.  They make a pile for each person.  By the time we meet up on the couch, we are ready to go.  This year was particularly laid back for me as I only shopped one day.  My husband and kids did ALL the rest of the gift buying.  The more I write that out, the more I realize how lucky I really am to have such a remarkable husband.

I opened the first gift.  It was from Alexis.  She had been bursting with excitement for weeks about this gift and I could not wait to see what she got for me.  It was a hand drawn portrait of myself that she had drawn.  She and the hubs went to the store.  He told me it took her 1/2 hour to pick out just the right frame and paper color for the matting.  I was just blown away by her thoughtfulness.  I never saw this coming.  If you know me, there is nothing in this world that I love more than a homemade/crafted gift.  I felt like crying, how did she know I needed that so much?

This year, we my husband got each kid one big ticket item.  They are all teenagers this year and it’s hard to buy for them – my middle son, 13 years old insisted we just give him cash and I let him know real quick that was not going to happen.

My husband bought my daughter an acoustic guitar and she knew this was going to be her big ticket item.  She opened it as if she had never seen one before and it made it all the more special.

Her friend sings and plays and has already given her a lesson – as well as her friend’s father taught her how to tune it.  She has been strumming the single note she has learned ever since and even wrote her first song.  This makes me smile from the inside out.

Her twin brother, got a mountain bike.  I wish I could say that I had something to do with this but my husband really stepped it up this year.  It’s assembled in the basement (*sorry no pics yet) but he is really excited to get out this spring and make tracks.  I told him we could ride together, I’ll just have to dust off MY bike, LOL!

He collects cars and plays xbox 360- those were easy gifts to pick out for him.

Big bro- well, he’s probably the hardest to buy for.  He has a job and buys his own things all the time.  Recently, in addition to his weight lifting, he has started kick boxing with a friend so we got him a bunch of gear.

Still, I cannot believe he’s 18 years old.  It just doesn’t seem possible.

So, Zachary, my youngest son… decided to trick me this year.  He knows how much I’d love to have a Keurig coffee machine so he bought me the carousel to put the “k-cups” on, telling me after I opened the present that the other 1/2, the actual coffee maker would be given to me in February for my Birthday.

After everyone was done opening he brought out my new machine.  This kid, he is a total entrepreneur and earns his own money.  He bought this for me on his own.

He helped me set it all up.  We figured out how to brew my first cuppa goodness.

and there it poured, right into my doxie weenie mug    My husband wrapped up a few goodies for me also.

… that was our Christmas this year.  I had to end this little journal entry with a picture of my sweetheart- without him, I don’t know what I’d do!

I’m on a new path

Last night I had an awakening of sorts.  Doing and saying what I want and feeling as though I have no control over it is pathetic.  I know I want to be a better person, and I know exactly what I have to do to be one – but I’m lazy and I don’t change.  It’s like there is no filter between my brain; a thought and my big fat mouth.  I keep saying outrageous inappropriate things.  I am HILARIOUS but sometimes at the expense of others.  I AM so wrong in so many ways.  My sense of humor is totally raw and uncensored.  I make people laugh.  But, I disappoint myself because I know in my heart, it’s crude and wrong.  I need to be done now.  I need to grow up and stop being selfish.

I know I should set a good example for my kids, but I don’t always do that.  I can be selfish and self-centered.  I need to STOP talking, and start thinking, LISTENING, and being more considerate.  I am doing a religious education workbook.  I bought my first learning bible for the new year and am off to a wonderful start.  I’m so glad to be doing this.  If you have a minute, read these few verses.  Really, read what he is saying.  I felt like he was talking to me.

James 3

Taming the Tongue

³When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. ⁴Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. ⁵Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

⁷All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, ⁸but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

⁹With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. ¹⁰Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. ¹¹Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? ¹²My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.